A person who was “fearful” about his fiancée coming house unusually late after work — notably, at 4 a.m. — is questioning if he’s “out of line” for asking her to let him know sooner or later if she finally ends up working late once more.
The person detailed his request and her shocking response on Reddit’s well-liked “Am I the A——” discussion board on Tuesday, Jan. 16.
“My fiancée normally works from 2 PM to 11 PM and will get house round midnight or 1 AM,” he started his put up. “Final night time, she ended up working a lot later than regular and didn’t get house till 4 AM.”
“When she obtained again, I requested her if she might let me know sooner or later if she’s working late. I defined that I wasn’t making an attempt to manage her or micromanage her time, nevertheless it’s frequent courtesy to let your accomplice know if there’s a significant change in plans — particularly since I used to be fearful when she didn’t come house at her regular time,” he continued.
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The unique poster (OP) was then shocked by the way in which she reacted.
“Her response caught me off guard: she requested, ‘Why would you like me to tell you?’ ” he recalled. “I didn’t anticipate that response, and it made me marvel if I used to be out of line for asking.”
He concluded his put up with a short reasoning for his request.
“To me, it’s about respect and staying linked as companions, however I’m curious if others see it in a different way,” he defined, earlier than asking, “AITA [am I the a——] for anticipating her to let me know if she’s working late?”
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The OP didn’t specify what his fiancée does for a dwelling, however that did not cease fellow Redditors from shortly giving their enter on the scenario.
“Completely NTA [not the a——],” one individual commented. “If you find yourself arriving late, you SHOULD inform your accomplice, so they will not keep up worrying that one thing occurred to you, and to allow them to plan their schedule accordingly … I’d ask myself … if she has one thing to cover.”
One other Redditor replied, “It isn’t management. It’s concern. If my husband was 3-4 hours late with out warning, I’d even be involved for his security.”
In a follow-up remark, the OP defined why he felt like an a——.
“I may be the a—— as a result of she felt the query was pointless and implied I used to be overstepping or controlling her,” he stated. “I wish to know if asking for this courtesy is an excessive amount of or unreasonable in a relationship.”
Nonetheless, the feedback had been overwhelmingly in his favor.
A 3rd Redditor seemingly summed up the bulk consensus: “You simply need somewhat communication if she’s going to be hours late,” the individual wrote. “That’s not an unreasonable ask, in any respect — particularly when the hours late is the distinction between midnight and 4 a.m.”
