This column was initially posted in 2022.
Expensive Annie: My spouse and I lately came upon that our 19-year-old son has been smoking pot for a few yr. We had been suspicious however didn’t have proof till final week. He says that it helps his anxiousness (one thing we didn’t know he had), retains him centered and helps him to have a good urge for food. He insists that it isn’t addictive, but he doesn’t wish to give it up.
He says that he normally smokes it in a distant space after which drives himself to wherever he’s going. That is crushing to us on so many ranges!
No. 1: We wish to see him take care of his anxiousness via another, safer means (a therapist perhaps?); No. 2: He isn’t legally sufficiently old in our state to have marijuana; No. 3: He insists that he doesn’t drive stoned, however it appears like he has. What if he damage somebody?; No. 4: He has a pal whose sister, only a few years in the past, used pot for her anxiousness, and when that didn’t work, she went to stronger avenue medication and finally overdosed and died.
When that occurred, we had lengthy talks with our youngsters about medication, and we thought they had been sensible sufficient to not become involved.
We don’t know what to do. Proper now, we’re switching medical health insurance, so we can’t see a health care provider or therapist till he could be added to our new insurance coverage. What ought to we do? I might love to show in his provider to the authorities, however he gained’t hand over the man’s title. Any options?
— Frightened for our Son
Expensive Frightened: In case your son will get pulled over whereas underneath the affect of marijuana, he’ll get a DUI. And the truth that he’s underage may lead to excessive fines and even jail time, relying on state legal guidelines. Quite a lot of youngsters are underneath the impression that driving excessive isn’t a difficulty, so make certain he’s conscious of the implications.
His use of marijuana to self-medicate is a distinct downside fully. He wants to handle his underlying anxiousness points, relatively than masks them with a drug. Contact the Substance Abuse and Psychological Well being Companies Administration till you’ll be able to discover a good therapist to your son.
Expensive Annie: I had a highschool boyfriend 47 years in the past however left him. He got here to my home the day earlier than I used to be marrying another person and begged me to not marry him, however I did. Lengthy story quick, after getting divorced, I attempted to search out him, however I couldn’t.
I married once more and obtained divorced once more.
I then centered on looking for him once more solely to search out out he’s been lifeless since 2007. I don’t know methods to course of my guilt and grief and questioning what may need been. He by no means obtained married nor had any children. Lacking him in spite of everything these years. — Nostalgic and Regretful Expensive Nostalgic and Regretful: It’s straightforward to romanticize the issues we don’t have, the relationships that might have been, those who obtained away. However suppose again to 47 years in the past: There was a cause you left him. There was a cause you married another person. You probably did the most effective you could possibly with the data you had. Cease beating your self up.
Ship your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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